Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Radium - A Review or is it a Warning?

Radium: With Your Host Tera Wray - Matt Zane Production

I was asked to review Radium: With Your Host Tera Wray for a music magazine. When thinking about how I could write a review for the DVD, my goals to finish the review changed and I decided that people do not really need a review, rather they need a warning!

What does one say when asked to review a DVD where one has no interest in watching said DVD - Radium: With Your Host Tera Wray. I have to say that the premise of Radium was slightly misleading because the description from the publicist did not quite match what I actually watched. I expected porn star Tera Wray to interview bands, play videos, and to generally be a nuisance around OZZFest and the California Metalfest. Sadly, this is not the whole of the DVD. I suppose I expected some of the craziness that “producer/musician/whatever hat he is wearing today” Matt Zane is known for and frankly a bit of money plunked down into the production. I did not get either. Tera Wray's bio and press were a tad misleading as I expected her to be a little more well known and talented. Did I watch what I expected, no. Metal music show - Not Really! Waste of a DVD – Really!

In the music and news industry there are a few female fronted music news and interest shows out on DVD, on television, and on the internet. There are also copious amounts of music magazines online, in print and bands needing, wanting, or avoiding interviews with magazines, websites, and DVD series. Some of the female fronted DVD series and shows have scantily clad hostesses and ex-porn “stars“, because for some reason the music industry seems to think that porn stars have some special insight into music and bands in general. What that special insight is I am not quite sure. The ability to ask silly questions, appear uninformed about a band or genre in general, and have little clue to reality are what these porn stars bring to their shows. Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against porn or porn stars, I just find porn a tad boring and all I can think of is what are these people going to be doing in ten years and (cover your eyes if easily offended) how will they feel wearing diapers at age 50 (porn = anal sex = multiple partners = many many many times = adult diapers). When there is an ex-porn star who is famous for having over 300 men perform certain acts upon her, how else can one not think of future health problems?

Needless to say I was expecting a DVD fronted by a porn star where she interviewed bands, played videos, and spoke about music. When I pulled the DVD out of the envelope the front cover had a naked Tera Wray, aforementioned porn star, featuring a heavily photo shopped ‘star’. Surprisingly, there is a well-done graphic title page and it is probably one of the only places in the DVD that the producer, Matt Zane, spent any money. The rest of the DVD used one cameraman and Tera Wray’s handheld camera. If there were two cameramen and professional editing I could not see any proof. Tera has a really bad habit of letting the camera dangle from her fingertips as she stands around trying to speak to bands and event organizers. The handheld camera ‘a la’ Julia from Fuse television becomes very old very fast. Especially when Tera is not the steadiest of operators and seems not to know how to correctly point the camera lens at her subjects.

The DVD has a few videos by metal bands and the only worthwhile video is by Mortiis. The rest of the videos are not worth mentioning but if you like to watch music videos and find new bands then you’ll probably want to watch these low budget masterpieces. You can either take that with sarcasm or not, it just depends on your music likes and video preferences.

Along with the few videos there are the fantastic interviews that Tera conducts. For some reason she apparently is not briefed on the band or the background of the guys that she speaks to. Her questions might as well be “What is your favorite color?” or “Where did you grow up?” for all the complexity and imagination that went into her words. Though if you are the type to enjoy watching someone ask few questions while standing around at concerts or in recording studios while interviewees look slightly uncomfortable and amused at the interviewer then this DVD is for you.

The pattern of the DVD is set into interviews, porn chapters, and videos. How can one mention the porn in this DVD? I really would prefer not to mention the porn. Mentioning it might make a few people go out and get this just to see how badly, or to some people, how good it is. I really do not want to contribute to any sales of this DVD. Let’s just say that the guys only know one position and each guy is a master at grabbing a thong, but that is about it! They are only shot from the neck down, maybe to preserve their identity because any sane person would die from embarrassment at being in this DVD. The girls are quite made up and seem to only know one action to perform on their partners. The faked sound effects and “conversations” between each “couple” are so laughable that I had a great time making up interesting fake conversations. The only way to get through the amateur filming and just plain boring sex between the couples is to make like Mystery Science Theater. It is the only way to enjoy oneself.

If you are a fan of music then you will not enjoy this video. If you are a fan of pornography then you will not enjoy this either. I spoke to a friend who really enjoys porn and has watched almost everything that he can get his hands on and he thought it was awful and could not finish watching the DVD. If that does not cement the DVD review then I do not know what will.

What a shame, I do not think that I will get anymore material from the publicist who sent the DVD. As for the music magazine, we'll see if I send this in.


Temporary Home

This blogsite is our temporary home while our website undergoes an extreme makeover of epic proportions (shifted septums, pacemakers, calf implants, dialysis, a fancy wig, contacts -- the works).

This was our old home, and while it is a bit dated, it's a good source of info regarding recent issues and the history of Prism Review.

Updates will follow regarding our new home. ETA summer 2009.